Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Randomize
