I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
