she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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