I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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