yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize