Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize