There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
