I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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