Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
