yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Randomize
