idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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