did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize