I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I want is dick and wine.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
