Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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