i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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