I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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