Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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