just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
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