Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
and you fell through a lawn chair
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
