I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
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I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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