oh god the rape fog is back!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
COCAINE IS GR8
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
