I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
