I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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