I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
