Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
