i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize