stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
