this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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