just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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