note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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