Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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