I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
