Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
