Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
