what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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