And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
