Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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