I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize