I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
