some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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