Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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