hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
