thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
