Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
