Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
