Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize