And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize