ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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