I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
