shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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