I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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