He is an equal opportunity slut.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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