I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
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Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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