How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize