you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
