One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
