3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
