There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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