We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
