Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize